Thursday, March 08, 2007
Hatred.
I've decided to start a.. tradition on my blog to have direct opposites for my entries. This is obviously the direct opposite of love. Like love, hatred is something that we don't really show to the people whom the feeling is directed against. But unlike love, which is usually expressed when you would like to further your relationship with the person, hatred is usually expressed only when you're certain that you can do without any help or support that the person may render.
But before I go into the main topic, let me just update a little on my life happenings. I'd actually wanted to go on a blogging frenzy today, by discussing three topics in a single day. But I'm feeling a little down, mostly because of my SOC results. Failed second year timing. But I'm surprised that I actually managed to maintain my timing despite not having done SOC for half a year. Hopefully I'll pass in the next one or two tries. But the problem is, there won't be one coming up anytime soon. And my fitness will drop. And I'll end up getting an even worse timing. The cycle of failing.
I also seem rather unlucky today. My EZ-link card actually spoilt. Now I'll have to get a replacement done. I hope it won't be too much trouble. My stuff seems to be spoiling every now and then. First my PS2. Then my PSP analog nub. And now this. What next?
Okay back to the topic. I actually decided to touch on hatred instead of the other topics (which I will eventually write when the time comes, perhaps this weekend), as a tribute to SOME people. Well it's because of SOME people that I'm running out of time, which is the other reason why I'm not going on a blogging frenzy. Well I may have made the same decision if I were them, but I do not see the need to give so many excuses to deny help. A simple "no" would have sufficed. Excuses is one of the few things that everyone likes to give but no one likes to receive. I used to be guilty of such acts too, but recently I've changed. As least I think I have. I've learnt the importance of taking responsibility. And I've witnessed the kind of excuses that SOME OTHER people (e.g. Rubber Ben) can give just to avoid trouble. It reminded me of how Neo dodged bullets in "The Matrix".
Well I can't really say I hate those SOME people. Like everything else, love and hatred should not be seen as polar opposites. I've read before that we should not see things as "black" or "white", but rather, in shades of grey. There are varying degrees for many things, not just emotions. But one thing I can say is, "With friends like these, who needs enemies?"
But life is like that, we usually have no choice in the people we are working with. And no matter where you go, you will eventually meet people you do not like. Or perhaps even hate. That's why there is the term "colleagues", so that you can refer to them without using the word "friends".
But the thing is, I've learnt to let things be. Why bother when the situation won't change despite what you may try? That's why whenever I get angry at certain people, I'd tell myself, "There's no point getting angry over such people. They won't care whether I'm angry or not. And they are not worth my anger." And this naturally calms me down. Well most of the time, at least. Unless the perpetrator is really skilled at invoking fury.
Sometimes, my hatred isn't only directed at others. At times, I hate myself. Actually, make that most of the time. For things I did, and for things I never did. And for things that I actually thought of doing. Like love, hatred is an emotion that is hard to control. Most emotions are. But I just hate it that I think the way that I do.
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But before I go into the main topic, let me just update a little on my life happenings. I'd actually wanted to go on a blogging frenzy today, by discussing three topics in a single day. But I'm feeling a little down, mostly because of my SOC results. Failed second year timing. But I'm surprised that I actually managed to maintain my timing despite not having done SOC for half a year. Hopefully I'll pass in the next one or two tries. But the problem is, there won't be one coming up anytime soon. And my fitness will drop. And I'll end up getting an even worse timing. The cycle of failing.
I also seem rather unlucky today. My EZ-link card actually spoilt. Now I'll have to get a replacement done. I hope it won't be too much trouble. My stuff seems to be spoiling every now and then. First my PS2. Then my PSP analog nub. And now this. What next?
Okay back to the topic. I actually decided to touch on hatred instead of the other topics (which I will eventually write when the time comes, perhaps this weekend), as a tribute to SOME people. Well it's because of SOME people that I'm running out of time, which is the other reason why I'm not going on a blogging frenzy. Well I may have made the same decision if I were them, but I do not see the need to give so many excuses to deny help. A simple "no" would have sufficed. Excuses is one of the few things that everyone likes to give but no one likes to receive. I used to be guilty of such acts too, but recently I've changed. As least I think I have. I've learnt the importance of taking responsibility. And I've witnessed the kind of excuses that SOME OTHER people (e.g. Rubber Ben) can give just to avoid trouble. It reminded me of how Neo dodged bullets in "The Matrix".
Well I can't really say I hate those SOME people. Like everything else, love and hatred should not be seen as polar opposites. I've read before that we should not see things as "black" or "white", but rather, in shades of grey. There are varying degrees for many things, not just emotions. But one thing I can say is, "With friends like these, who needs enemies?"
But life is like that, we usually have no choice in the people we are working with. And no matter where you go, you will eventually meet people you do not like. Or perhaps even hate. That's why there is the term "colleagues", so that you can refer to them without using the word "friends".
But the thing is, I've learnt to let things be. Why bother when the situation won't change despite what you may try? That's why whenever I get angry at certain people, I'd tell myself, "There's no point getting angry over such people. They won't care whether I'm angry or not. And they are not worth my anger." And this naturally calms me down. Well most of the time, at least. Unless the perpetrator is really skilled at invoking fury.
Sometimes, my hatred isn't only directed at others. At times, I hate myself. Actually, make that most of the time. For things I did, and for things I never did. And for things that I actually thought of doing. Like love, hatred is an emotion that is hard to control. Most emotions are. But I just hate it that I think the way that I do.
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