Sunday, April 15, 2007
Sorry seems to be...
...the easiest word. At least it definitely isn't the hardest, despite what the song might say. In our culture, it seems like almost everyone expects to be forgiven once they say the magical word. So much so that it has lost it's significance. Done something wrong? Just say sorry. That's what everyone was taught to do, so it should be right, isn't it? But what's the purpose of saying sorry when you don't mean it? Some people know me for my saying of "Don't say sorry unless you REALLY mean it." Because nowadays, many people just say sorry for the sake of saying it, thinking that the victim will forgive him/her. But that doesn't work for me. It's like saying happy birthday when it's not your birthday. Okay, that's a rather bad analogy, but the point is, I don't like it when people say sorry solely for the purpose of attempting to dissolve the awkwardness. If, and when, I say sorry, there can be two possible scenarios. Firstly, which is usually the case, it is when I'm really sorry for what I've done. The other less desirable scenario is when I can't really be bothered about what the other party thinks and say it simply maintain the status quo and avoid conflict. In other cases, if I feel I haven't done anything wrong, or if I don't feel guilty, I won't bother to say sorry. Because I don't like to be a hypocrite.
It's not just about saying sorry. When you want to say something nice, make sure you mean it. From my grandma's wake, I've come to conclude that all the people and organizations who sent wreaths, which were addressed to my uncle, didn't mean what they said. All of them came from the same template. Basically, all of them wrote, "(Deepest condolences / Heartfelt sympathy and deepest condolences / Deepest sympathy and condolences) on the demise of you beloved mother." So, the question is.. whose sympathy and condolences are the deepest then? None, I guess. But I don't suppose there's much else to say during such times. But again, my point is, don't say it unless you REALLY mean it.
2 comments
It's not just about saying sorry. When you want to say something nice, make sure you mean it. From my grandma's wake, I've come to conclude that all the people and organizations who sent wreaths, which were addressed to my uncle, didn't mean what they said. All of them came from the same template. Basically, all of them wrote, "(Deepest condolences / Heartfelt sympathy and deepest condolences / Deepest sympathy and condolences) on the demise of you beloved mother." So, the question is.. whose sympathy and condolences are the deepest then? None, I guess. But I don't suppose there's much else to say during such times. But again, my point is, don't say it unless you REALLY mean it.
2 comments
Comments:
realise that these people and organisations could just as likely have meant what they have sent. perhaps it can be likened to a token that says 'i'm here if you need some help'
empathy is part of what makes us human i would believe. it would be pretty safe to say that everyone who comes to know about another's misfortune would feel Something. some sympathy. and in any way they can, offer their condolences.
but to think that everyone should experience the same amount of grief would be foolish. to the best of their efforts these people have sent their thoughts through these wreaths and the words on them, what more should be required?
my condolences.
empathy is part of what makes us human i would believe. it would be pretty safe to say that everyone who comes to know about another's misfortune would feel Something. some sympathy. and in any way they can, offer their condolences.
but to think that everyone should experience the same amount of grief would be foolish. to the best of their efforts these people have sent their thoughts through these wreaths and the words on them, what more should be required?
my condolences.
# posted by 
: 7:16 PM
: 7:16 PM
hey sgt sometimes even though they dun mean it, it's like... courtesy to send something like that? I think given a choice they probably wouldn't send it, but maybe coz they knew your grandma one way or another they felt they had to send something... so IMO just appreciate it for what it is... it's better this way =)
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# posted by : 3:55 PM
: 3:55 PM