the REAL me.

This is the song that caused me to fall in love with Mayday. It's called Chun Zhen, translated as.. Innocence. I first heard it on tv years ago, when Channel U first aired and it was the ending theme for one of their drama serials.

This song describes my current feelings very well. Relationships between people (not just the couple kind) can be rather.. intimidating. The thing is, I don't like getting too close to people. It gives me a false sense of security. I guess it's the same for many people. You get close to someone, you end up liking them too much, whether as a platonic friend or more, and you'll end up being very sad when you are parting.

Let me translate the final chorus of the song:
"You already have him/her, so you shouldn't have me anymore
The world's innocence, in this instance, has been mesmerized by you
I think I should gently release your hand
But I don't have the strength to do so.."

Hmm.. I suppose it's not that easy to walk away sometimes, especially when it's walking away from things important to you. That's why I don't really like the idea of getting too close to things that/people whom I will eventually lose. Sure, I can be very happy for some time, but the trauma later will be.. unbearable.

I've been getting REALLY emo lately. So much so that even I think my posts have gotten rather eccentric. But I can't help it. Like i said two entries ago, I can't control the way I think. And it doesn't help that I'm anticipating something to happen, waiting for disappointment to arrive. I'm really confused by my own thoughts. I don't know why I'm looking forward to getting disappointed. I think I don't even know myself anymore.
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